Tuesday, 31 May 2011

I wonder...

... if I can keep up this blog or if it's going to die like so many other things I start and never finish....

The Sims 3

Does anyone else play The Sims 3? Generations (the next expansion) just came out today and so I'm installing it as I type. Apparently there are bunk beds! I'm so excited. I've been making my own fake bunk beds since The Sims 2!

It seems to be erroring during the install. I hope it installs fully!!

Monday, 30 May 2011

Thought of the day

The world is not made for left handed people. My right handed father (the computer guy of the house until I got married) of course started my mom and me off using right handed mice. We never knew differently.

Of course now, as I'm trying to draw something on Paint, my hand is shaky because I don't have the same control in my right hand.

Exhausted and a note

I'm so exhausted from moving yesterday and being at Ikea all day Saturday. My eyes feel droopy and heavy and my work day hasn't even started yet.

On a side note, what I thought was AF on Saturday came for a while and went away. It never got heavy and I never saw anything yesterday. It was likely either implantation bleeding (KMFX) or actually AF but my miscarriage is messing with it. Please please please, IB!

Sunday, 29 May 2011

Totally busy day

Tonight my husband built my Ikea DVD shelf for me! Isn't it pretty? All our DVDs used to be stacked in columns up and down instead of side to side rows like this shelf. That was ugly and hard to reorganize and pull off the shelves.

Today we barely sat down. We were busy moving things to get ready for the dry waller to come on Tuesday. He's going to be adding some fire resistant (30 min) dry wall or something to all the walls and ceilings between the main part of the house and the suite. My brother and husband patched up some big trenches in the ceiling. Mom and I did some recycling (cans and such) and then cleared out the laundry room to be dry walled. The guys took the cupboards down and then mom and I stacked them all in my brother's room. He's moving out next weekend and his bedroom is one of the two that will be part of the suite so we're storing stuff in there while he's still living there because we can't have the dry waller do his room until he has moved.

I cooked lunch for everyone which gave me time to sit down around 1pm because I was waiting for water to boil. Tee hee! We probably didn't all stop working until around 4pm. Couple that with our 15 hour day yesterday and I swear none of us feel like we got a break this weekend. Can't it be Saturday tomorrow?

My Struggles #2

Remember my friend that was having the baby shower in Portland. My second struggle revolved around her and her baby. We were 30 weeks apart. Her baby was born 2 weeks ago and it was a struggle for me.

It wasn't so hard being excited for them when they were in the hospital and having the baby. I enjoyed hearing about their experience and dreaming about my own.

When they finally were able to bring him home, it was just too real for me. The first video that was posted of him that popped up in my facebook newsfeed just made me break down. It was terrible.

It still makes me sad to see pictures but since then, I've blocked her from my newsfeed so pictures and videos don't sneak up on me. I still check them out, but only when I'm ready for them.

Saturday, 28 May 2011

Finally home

Yeah so we're finally home after a 15 hour day. I'm thankful I found a blogger app for Android though. I should have figured there would be one since Android is totally all about Google and Google seems to own Blogger.

The above picture is a picture of all our loots. We of course didn't buy the sweaters and three of the long boxes are my mom's bookshelves but everything else is ours.

We spent over $1800 after taxes and before coupons/gift cards and then another $130 to have them ship the bed to us (not in the picture). I know I posted the number before but it wasn't this exact. My mom spent just under $300 by herself lol.

This is one of three bus compartments. Most of the boxes in here are ours... lol

And I leave you with a final comment. One... freaking... long... day!

Ikea Bus Review

Here are my comments about the Ikea bus and the days schedule.
- leave depot at 7:30
- arrive at ferry at 8
- get on 9:00 ferry
- at ikea by 11ish
- big boxes to the bus by 2:30
- go to big warehouse for big items by 3:15
- 5:00 ferry
- at the depot by 7:30
My Thoughts:
The time at Ikea was perfect for us but a little longer would have been nice. It gave us just over 3 hours to buy everything and get back to the bus to load. We were stressing for a while in the self serve warehouse though. We had three flats and one shopping cart with three people pushing.
If we hadn't come into the store knowing exactly what we were looking at, we wouldn't have had enough time. We hadn't chosen our dressers for example but we knew we were going to stick with the MALM series for our bedroom and the LACK series in black brown for the living room.
It was annoying to get to the ferry terminal just as the 8:00 sailing was leaving and have to wait an hour to board  especially when we could have left later and still gotten the 9:00 or a little earlier and gotten the 8:00 and had an extra hour to shop.
Between the three of us who went, we spent almost $2000 plus the money to ship our king size bed to our house.

My Struggles #1

Shortly after my miscarriage, a couple at my parents' church lost their baby. Their baby was lost due to long cord syndrome and was fine and healthy until the end of the pregnancy when he dropped. The cord wrapped around his neck and the poor little baby was strangled.

The struggle that I had with this is the fact that I had to suffer in silence. I knew this couple and the church. My own parents seemed like they were tired of hearing me talk about the miscarriage (which I didn't talk much at all and talked even less after this experience). The church rearranged their mother's day service to honour this couple and their lost baby.

The only thing that made their baby different from ours is time. The 30+ more weeks that their baby had that our baby never had the chance to have is the only reason the people knew and the only reason that people mourn their loss and don't mourn ours.

I've gotten lots of posts from people on babycenter.com when I posted a post about this. I even got a post from someone who had gone through a stillborn and a miscarriage and posted that they both hurt and they both felt different but it also wasn't fair that people don't mourn miscarriages the same way.

If it wasn't for babycenter.com I don't know how I would have survived.


Right now I am leaving the house headed to Ikea to shop for bedroom/living room/dining room furniture. I am so excited. I will be back as soon as I can with a list of everything that we bought today.

It's going to be a long day. We start out at the bus station at 7:30, get on the ferry, drive to Ikea from there and then spend the day there. Sometime in the late afternoon/early evening we will get back on the bus, drive, take the ferry and arrive back at home at 7:30pm. It's a 12 hour day, all for Ikea.

And to think I'm doing this willingly, on a Saturday. Who woulda thunk it?

Friday, 27 May 2011

Thought of the day

How badly would it have hurt to give birth to Stewie Griffin?

Oh please no...

Pretty sure AF arrived...

Pregnant in Heels

I went into watching this show expecting it to follow one person who's pregnant and rich and wears heels, etc. The show is actually about a maternity concierge in NYC who helps pregnant women with their problems, runs a store, designs nurseries and has classes for pregnant women. She basically helps "million dollar mommies to be".

I thought this show would hit the sore spots that I still feel from losing my pregnancy but in fact to see the concierge struggling with infertility (has one child) and working with pregnant women gives me hope that it won't hurt me forever to see pregnant women.

Thursday, 26 May 2011

New friend

Through babycenter.com I met a new friend. She lives far far away but we've connected.

It all started with a message I sent her about her ultrasound picture. It was a really early one... must have been 6 weeks maybe. At that time I was still pregnant and dreaming about my first ultrasound. She was there for me when I was complaining about finding out I wouldn't get a first ultrasound until 18 weeks. She was there for me when I went to the ER and when I thought I was miscarrying. She was there for me when I found out I was and even gave me her email to use if babycenter was too hard to be on.

We were preggo buddies and then I miscarried. Just under 2 weeks after my miscarriage was confirmed, she miscarried as well. It was so devastating for us both. I'm glad though, if I had to lose this baby, that I had her to lean on and I'm glad I could be there for her.

As of now, my gmail tells me we've sent almost 70 emails back and forth since April 28.

Here's to many many more emails!

My Personality

My personality comes into play with how I think about things. I will edit this post as I think of more things about myself but here is a starter.
  1. I need things to match... all my bridesmaids were in the same dresses, very similar hairstyles and the same shoes.
  2. I'm a worrier.
  3. I cry easily if I get even slightly scolded.
  4. I have an addictive personality.

I never knew how badly I wanted it...

The reason I'm so obsessed with baby things is because I was recently pregnant.

Our story:

I had wanted a baby since I was a teenager. I had dreams about having the next immaculate conception. Lol. When I met my husband, I imagined having babies with him and could totally see it. I wanted a baby right away but I knew that we wouldn't have time alone for a long time if we had a baby too soon.

Fast forward 8 months after the wedding. We are planning a visit to Portland for a friend's baby shower and I'm calculating when I should be expecting my period. I calculate the same weekend.

Fast forward about a week, 5 days before we leave-ish. I recalculate and realize that I was off by a week and I'm actually a few days late. We talked about it and agreed that I would test before we left.

Nothing happened and I tested the day before we left and got a positive test. I was shocked and started crying. Over the course of the day I get used to it. The next morning I tested again and got another positive. It was easier to handle and I told my first person that morning. I was so excited to be pregnant. I was 5 weeks pregnant when I found out.

I got it verified by a blood test the following Wednesday and we told my parents, his parents and our grandparents.

I was excited to be pregnant but also feeling like my body was being taken over. I felt weird. Morning sickness... kinda kicked in around 7 weeks. I had a bit of spotting one weekend and told the doctor. The day after the appointment I started spotting again.

By Easter Sunday, I was laying around cramping. Easter Monday it was worse and we went to the ER. I had an exam and they did blood work. They couldn't tell me anything yet except that my HCG was low. The doctor told me it was still within normal but I doubted that. I had it confirmed later that my levels were around what you expect for 4 weeks and I was almost 8 weeks.

My schedule after the ER visit looked like this:
Tues: missed work
Wed: blood work, went in for a meeting and left. It was too hard to handle.
Thurs: missed work, confirmed miscarriage
Fri: missed work
Mon-Wed: missed work again

I just couldn't handle being at work around the few people who knew. I spent a lot of time surfing babycenter.com on their miscarriage support forums. I also watched a ton of Desperate Housewives. I needed all the time to focus on other things. At work there was always too much to think.

So there's my story. Along with this miscarriage, we realized how much we want a baby now.

Awesome quote

"Did you ever think what would have happened if Eve didn't bite the apple? How easy birth would be?"
- Pregnant in Heels

LOL I was thinking that the other day too.

Our background

I'm going to try my hand at blogging like all these other blogs I've started reading lately.

I'm 22 years old, married for about a year. Our wedding was on July 3, 2010. We live in BC Canada. I work as an education assistant at a private school with 2 blind boys.

My husband is 27 years old and his birthday is the day after mine. He works as a service advisor at a Honda car dealership. He immigrated to Canada to be with me in October 2010.

We met online playing World of Warcraft in April 2008. It didn't seem important to be at the time because I was dating someone else. Our friendship changed into a romantic interest (at least on my part) near the end of the summer as I was realizing that my current boyfriend wasn't a long time relationship type of guy. When I broke up with that boyfriend in the fall, we started talking more and lost interest in other people.

We met in person in March 2009, almost a year after we started talking and playing World of Warcraft together. We had an instant connection. He visited me for a week over spring break and we spent all day every day together. It was the best time of my life.

We only had a few visits in the time that we were dating and it was difficult. After the March visit here, I took a trip to Nevada to visit him in July. A few other WoW friends came as well and we had a blast meeting everyone and camping together.  After that, we planned for an October (Thanksgiving) trip, but he surprised me by showing up for my birthday (Sept 21).

Our last trip while dating was Christmas. My whole family visited my grandparents in So Cal and he drove from Nevada to meet us on Christmas Day. We turned around and drove back to Nevada on Boxing Day. He proposed on New Years. It was supposed to be 12am but he surprised me earlier in front of his grandma when we walked her home at 8. He then proposed shortly after 12 in front of the rest of them.

We had two visits while engaged. He came in February for counselling, Valentine's Day, working on our immigration paperwork and a short visit. I'm pretty sure I went down to visit in March for my 2 week spring break.

The next visit was JULY! Wedding time! We got married on the 3rd and then drove through all of Washington on the 4th. The fireworks were so pretty and they were everywhere! We crashed at a friend's place and then started on our honeymoon. We spent a week at Disneyland and went to Six Flags. After that we went to visit my grandparents in So Cal and then back to his place in Nevada where we spent the summer. I sat around and did nothing most days while he was at work.

At the end of the summer I had to go back to work and he had to stay in Nevada. It was so hard to leave because I had no idea when we would be together again. I planned a trip in October where we packed all his stuff and cataloged it for when he moved.

His paperwork came through right around the time of my trip so he gave his 2 weeks and moved up as soon as he could.

We moved into my parents place here and thankfully have been living rent free since then as we try pay down debt and get things figured out. By the end of next month, hopefully, their basement will be a seperate suite and we will be paying rent with keys and locks between us.